I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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