I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
A+ Viking dick
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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