Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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