I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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