if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
