redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Everyone says I win the strip club
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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