Can i not drive my cunt home
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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