first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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