Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
