there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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