Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
