my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
