He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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