When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
