If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Im part way to drunk.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
