i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Randomize
