fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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