mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
its liver damage thursday
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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