break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
