I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
