The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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