i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
