the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
