there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
