It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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