We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
