Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
