Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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