Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
