HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Randomize
