just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
