oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
