btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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