i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
