The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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