Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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