HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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