So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
