hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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