uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
