I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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