I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
