We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you win again, gameday.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
