All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
