from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
