She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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