I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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