My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
