we need to drink 2009 down the drain
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
