why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
