I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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