I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
